Play The Gigs You Don't Want

It will almost instantly elevate your overall musicianship

I am not a fan of country music. Never have been. But I played in a country band once, and did it for over a year. I am also not religious in any way, but I played in a Christian thrash metal band for 6 months. I’ve backed lots of musicians whose music I wasn’t a fan of, or who I didn’t like personally… or both! I would do it again if given the chance (well… most of the time), and I recommend you take the gigs you don’t want, too.

Here are just a few things I’ve learned from playing all of these various gigs:

1. Your Image Is Not Defined By Your Current Gig

When I was playing in a country band, I jammed on my off days with my brother, whose favorite band at the time was Sister Hazel. He liked Dave Matthews, too. So I learned that stuff. Also, he had a friend who wanted to be a jazz singer, and she had a few songs she seemed to sing really well, and wondered if I’d learn them & then play them with her out at open mics or small bars or clubs, so I learned some Ella Fitzgerald tunes. A friend of mine at the time was a guitarist who mostly played either heavy metal or southern rock, and we jammed together sometimes too.

Point being: none of these people thought “well I can’t jam with him, he’s a country guitarist”.

Conversely, when I was recruited for the country gig, it was after a country singer heard me play “The Wind Cries Mary” by Jimi Hendrix. He never heard me play country, but he didn’t think “I can’t jam with that guy, he’s not a country guitarist”.

If you think a gig is in any way remotely, possibly interesting. You shouldn’t avoid it because of “your image”. Do what you want. As someone famous once said: “those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”.

2. On Guitar, It’s All Transferable

When I was hustling pool to pay rent, my mentor introduced me to at least a half dozen games you could play on a pool table that I had never heard of. They were dramatically different from each other. Each game requires you to put a laser focus on some aspect of your playing, and highlights weaknesses in your playing that other games might hide. As a result, every different game you learn to play on a pool table makes every other game you play on a pool table stronger.

The same is true of music. I really didn’t use my pinky until I tried to learn classical, but after I did that, everything else I played got way stronger and more confident. I no longer shied away from the Steve Vai or Joe Satriani transcriptions in the guitar magazines, and Van Halen’s solos were still hard, but a lot more approachable.

Before I played country, I mostly stuck to minor pentatonic haunts: Hendrix, Zeppelin, AC/DC, Metallica. Clapton (Cream, really) borrowed from the major pentatonic, but it wasn’t anything like the straight-up major-pentatonic-only stuff I saw in country-land. Make no mistake, though: forcing myself to learn country took my blues playing (my first love) several levels up from where I was beforehand. And, I’m pretty confident that if I didn’t take a gig I didn’t want, I would’ve never learned country at all.

3. People Are People

Maybe the most heartwarming thing I learned from playing all of these gigs I didn’t want is that, no matter if you’re playing in a thrash metal band, a country band, a cover band, or whatever, musicians are still musicians. We all like to geek out about gear, we all like to trade war stories from the road, we all like to talk about what we’re working on, etc. It’s not that musicians are part of some monoculture, but there are commonalities. That makes new experiences a lot less jarring or intimidating, because you quickly realize you’re surrounded by musicians, and everything is going to be ok. Musicians can bond with each other very quickly.

My secret is that I’m an introvert. Lots of musicians are. When I’m on stage, I can see almost everyone. I see people talking at the bar, dancing on the dance floor, couples playing pool, and I think “phew, glad I’m up here where I don’t have to talk to anyone!” But through music I’ve become friends with people I’m sure I would’ve never had it in me to introduce myself to, and I’m so happy I met them all. And lots of those people I met through gigs I had zero interest in!

4. One Thing Leads To Another

I’m a regular at a local blues jam. One time I noticed that we weren’t getting any bassists at the jam for quite a while. I decided “maybe I’ll just hop up and play a set to give the house bassist a break”. This almost immediately became a weekly thing: I’d play my normal set on guitar, and then I’d do a set on bass as well. After two weeks of this I get a message from someone asking if I could cover them on a bass gig they couldn’t make. “Well, I would, but I don’t own a bass amp!” I went ahead and bought one after that, and have played probably a couple dozen or so paid bass gigs since. The bass rig has paid for itself a few times over now.

One thing leads to another. Did I want a gig as a bassist? Not particularly. I was doing it because the house bassist is a good guy, I like playing with the other guys in the house band, it’s a great group of regulars, that night is already clear on my calendar every week anyway, and I get paid on top of it. One thing leads to another.

5. Every Gig Is A Surprise

Ever have someone ask you to join one of the best bands in town, only to realize that the face of the band is also an unreliable drug addicted egomaniac? Ever feel like you’re in the best band in town and yet it’s completely impossible to book a single gig? Have you ever felt like things were going along quite well until the singer & guitarist got into a fist fight between sets, rolled around in a dirty, unpaved parking lot, and… whatever, you get the point. The gig you think is fantastic is often far from it.

Likewise, the gig you think is just “not your thing” or “totally mid” or a “waste of time” very often bears more fruit than you ever expected. The drummer becomes a good friend. The bassist pulls you into other, possibly better, gigs. A venue owner you would’ve never met connects you with a band you’re a perfect fit for.

The perfect gig never looks like the perfect gig before you get into it, and bad gigs often don’t look bad, and sometimes look like amazing opportunities, until you get into it. So don’t be too quick to act on your first impression of how much you might like or dislike the gig up front.

6. When To Pass

There are, of course, gigs you should not take. You should be clear in your own mind about what your “intolerables” are when it comes to gigs and the people you’ll be gigging with. For example, a couple of my own intolerables are:

• Not getting paid, or not getting paid what was promised

• Habitual Inebriation on stage

• Criminal activity (dealing drugs is the most common in my experience)

Intolerables, mean “if I see this happening with my own eyes, I’m out through the nearest exit”. Sometimes things pop up that you could never expect, and you have to make the call on the spot that something is intolerable. Where I’ve most often seen this is with band leaders (it is somehow always the band leader) treating people in and/or out of the band poorly. It’s inexcusable, and I’ve learned that, in most cases, the people who are the best musicians and the ones who go furthest are also the ones who treat people well. They might be bristly, impatient, demanding, and more, but they’re not bullies, and they’re not abusive.

So, I’m not advocating that you put yourself in a position where you’re uncomfortable because you think it could be actually unsafe, or you feel like you could be taken advantage of or abused. But “uncomfortable” musically? I think being musically uncomfortable is where all your growth potential as a musician lives.

Just Do It

Doing something is better than doing nothing. Doing something with others is better than doing it by yourself. Doing something with others in front of an audience is better than doing it in a garage with no spectators. It’s pretty amazing how many parallels there are between growing as a musician, and just generally growing as a human being.

If you disagree that you should take gigs you don’t want, or you think there’s some really obvious exception or special case I missed, feel free to point it out. I want to hear all sides of this. But for me, I have played far more gigs I didn’t want than those I really wanted, and I continue to do so to this day, and I highly recommend others do the same!